We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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