STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
