Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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