I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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