So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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