I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
