barbara walters just said penis...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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