Hey man sorry I got all grabby
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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