i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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