just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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