I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
