I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You've changed since you got that strap on
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
