Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
