His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
