problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize