this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
