And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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