I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
