you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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