STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
