You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
