Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
