Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
