awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
