Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
