I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
