Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
