Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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