Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
