i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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