I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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