just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
