Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
