I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
