I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
