it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
