North Korea, Best Korea!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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