i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Boobs are out for the taking
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
