I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
