It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
