I wish I only lived at night.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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