I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
