threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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