one word: firstdatebathroomanal
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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