I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Someone shit on the floor
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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