Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Randomize
