He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
