she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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