Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
