Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
